Developing a Love That Lasts

As we kick-off February, we’re welcoming the month of love with hearts wide open. Our intention, over the course of the coming days, is to prompt you to think about the love and compassion that you give to yourself. One thing’s for certain, you are worthy of your own love! 

Let’s open our hearts and get really honest for a minute.

Can you say that you love the way you’ve been loving yourself lately? Are you able to say that you speak to yourself with kindness? During difficult times, do you shower yourself with compassion?

Unfortunately, how often do we connect with outer labels and expectations, and then determine how lovable we are? I don’t know about you, but it can be all too easy to think, “Well, I could love myself if I looked like that!” Or, “I would love my life if I got do that or had that!”

This preoccupation with an outer perfect-looking-from-our-view-point fantasy world is one of the quickest routes to disconnection with our spirit. It traps us in our own insecurities.

You are probably all too familiar with what happens next: the ego makes his grand entrance. The ego will attempt to convince us that we are deeply unworthy, and thus unloveable, every time. We become like a boxer circling the ring, engaged in a never-ending argument about our worthiness. Despite getting the wind knocked out of us and falling to our knees, how may times do we get back up and allow these repeated insults-or punches to the gut-to continue? This path leads us down a dead end road to heartbreak. 

You see, the only way to tap into that place of unconditional love for ourselves is to connect with our spirit. When we connect fully with the place of ourselves that is devoid of the soul-crushing insults of the ego, we enter into a place of freedom. This is where we discover that we are completely loveable just as we are. While in this space of freedom, we can hear the confident voice that says things such as, “I am worthy. I do matter.”

It’s time to bid goodbye to the ego and allow authentic self-confidence to take the stage. Having authentic self-confidence means that you have the ability to rest in the assurance of your own worthiness. 

Even when it feels like life is anything but fine, with this type of confidence by your side, you know that you are worthy and loveable no matter what. To have developed a healthy confidence in yourself is to have allowed that space of freedom in your spirit to have overtaken the merciless ego. In essence, you tell the ego that you won’t keep taking his punches, because you now know that you’re too good for that!

This confidence can carry you through life, whether you’re on top of the world or feeling deeply inadequate. Bottom line, when you’re sitting on the floor covered in spit-up, buried under two weeks worth of dirty laundry, and feel as though you can’t catch a moment to breathe, you need to be able to calmly say to yourself, “I love you, and I know that you’re doing the best you can.”

Plus, you need to be able to reassure yourself that you love yourself just as much in that moment as you do when you’re having a got-it-all-together kind of a day.

Isn’t that moment on the floor (when we tend to allow the ego to attack) when you actually need more love?

The next time you start to beat yourself up, remember that embracing the confident voice that believes in your own worthiness is the secret to developing a love with yourself that lasts.

Another tip: Think of the person in your life who sees you at your absolute worst and still loves you through it. When you envision this person, can you hear his/her compassionate voice telling you that you can do it and how amazing you are?

Seek to become that person to yourself. Shower yourself with your own love and compassion. It really is that simple and that complex at the same time. Only you can decide to begin loving yourself in the way that you deserve.

And for good measure, consider this thought:

An article in the January/February edition of Martha Stewart Living states that “a growing body of research shows that people who respond with self-compassion rather than self-criticism maintain healthier emotional equilibrium and weather hardships better than those who don’t.”

When you start loving yourself more fully, your life will begin to change. You will uncover a peace within and have the confidence to live your truth. You will be open to bigger possibilities in your life, and your days will be filled with more moments of joy. Plus, you will find that you have richer relationships filled with, you guessed it, much more love! 



Dear Reader,

You are so worthy of your own love!

How many of us look everywhere but ourselves to feel that void?

I sincerely hope that you make the choice to start loving yourself more fully. You owe it to yourself to begin that journey. Remember, who you are is more than good enough. There is no one else like you!

You are deserving of the best love and care, don’t you think?


All the best,