When life gets tough, the ability to pick yourself up and move on takes practice. If you are currently dealing with adversity, you have two choices: stay stuck under a cloud of despair and wallow in self-pity or uncover the purpose in your heartbreak and find the light.
Shifting our focus from “life is hard,” or “this is how it is for me” to “what is the lesson or opportunity here?”, opens the door for us to move forward. And when we live with the awareness that a challenge is preparing us for the future, we uncover ways to develop or strengthen the habits that are essential to our personal development.
After all, when the storm clouds roll in, the trick is to develop a rugged outer shell and a humble inner core. We want to become stronger for the next storm, while approaching it with the humble awareness that there is a lesson that we have yet to learn.
In my practice coaching others though some very difficult life situations, these are a few of the behaviors that we often discuss in our sessions. These learned behaviors will help you more easily bounce back after you have been knocked off course.
Have you noticed how easy it is for your mind to start racing with questions and fears the moment something difficult hits? Do you ever find that your mind has become cluttered with some of these thoughts?
“Why is this happening? What do I do? This can’t be happening. I should do x. Maybe I should do x instead. How can I get through this? This can’t be happening? I don’t know how to handle this.”
It’s as if a continuous stream of questions, doubts, and negative thoughts play on repeat.
Somehow, you have to shut that off. Talk to a trusted confident. Try journaling to get it all out, and then go for a walk. Get still. Sit outside.
The voice that beckons us to act calmly will be drowned out by the flood of doubts if we can’t learn to be still.
So many times people are unaware of their own power. Yes, very difficult things happen. While we usually cannot control the crisis or tragedy we have to face, we often have much more control than we realize in how we respond to and handle it.
That is why I love coaching. I love to help people become aware of how much is in their control.
Dwell in the land of solutions, and you will most likely discover many more possibilities to your predicament that you could have imagined. Allow your mind to become cluttered with negative thinking, and you will surely miss seeing those options.
After you’ve had time to be still, take charge; step into your power. Those who overcome adversity get up and do something to move themselves forward. Perhaps being knocked off course moved you in a different direction- the direction that was meant for you. Don’t give up your power to act. Keep showing up and making the choices that are right for you.
Open your heart.
Sometimes, it’s only natural to want to close up or retreat inward. Plus, when we are struggling, it’s easy to feel like we are the only ones.
Revealing our challenges requires us to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is scary. It means we are honestly sharing, and whenever we are sharing from the heart, we are revealing a piece of who we are. That means there’s always a chance that people are going to judge that piece.
The flip side is that opening up could be the very thing that heals us. The more we open our hearts, the more opportunities we have to experience authentic connections, love, happiness, and all the wonderful things that we attract when we live with openness in our lives rather than staying closed.
The other bonus is that you never know who needs to hear your story. You could help bring emotional healing to someone else by being willing to share what you’ve been facing. It will help heal you too to know that you are positively impacting someone else.
Take it step-by-step.
It certainly helps to break challenges down into manageable steps. Part of what makes a crisis seem overwhelming is the magnitude of that which we must handle.
Break it down, and then break it down again. It will help you to stay the course if you break the steps up into the smallest of pieces. People tend to think they have split up a challenge into something doable and need to disassemble it even further.
You gain confidence each time you accomplish something, so make it as easy as you can on yourself to succeed.
Anticipate the reward.
Time and again, I have seen with my clients that there is something positive that comes out of heartbreak or struggle. If we are viewing our lives through the eyes of sacrifice, we fail to see it. Focus on everything that the challenge is taking away from our lives, and we feel worn down. We will question our ability to make it through.
It’s easier to accomplish a goal or overcome a difficult roadblock when we concentrate on all of the things that will be added to our lives or the opportunity that we have the ability to create.
Bottom line: Expect that there is a reward to follow after adversity. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss the prize because I am so caught up on the sacrifice.
I feel like I say this so often. I think that is because it is so true.
Be kind to yourself. In the way that you would talk lovingly to your dearest friends, make them their favorite comfort foods when they’re sick, or show up to the hospital to sit with them while they are by a loved one’s bedside, treat yourself with the same kindness. This is so important.
Remember that if you start to beat yourself up, you are not doing yourself any favors. On the other hand, if you respond with love, you are doing yourself a wealth of good.
Give yourself the kindness and love that you deserve. It really does make the challenge that much easier to handle.
You have within you the power to overcome anything that threatens to defeat you. One important point to remember is that the mind is a faithful servant. You will achieve what you believe. You overcome what you tell yourself you will overcome.
Do you believe in your ability to weather life’s storms?
I believe you are a resilient, powerful being destined for greatness!